home

so this post is going to be all about me because....

i am home!

i'm not going to lie, even though i was looking forward to coming home, it was really, really hard to leave china. the night before i was leaving i almost couldn't bear to finish packing up all my stuff because then i knew i would officially be leaving it all behind. i didn't have that much to pack but it took me forever.

this is the last picture of myself in dalian before i stepped into the airport. i had a few friends offer to see me off at the airport, but i declined. i thought, well, here i am, this crazy girl who came to china all on my own, and it would only be fitting to leave on my own too. maybe it's selfish, but i wanted the moment all to myself....and my cab driver, who had to listen to me crying in the backseat hahah. the last person i saw was my manager, april, who was also the first person i saw in china. she took the cab with me to an ATM to make sure that the driver wouldn't leave with all my stuff while i was withdrawing the rest of my money. i didn't think that this would be likely to happen but i let her come along anyhow. i didn't believe it at first, but now i can say with confidence that april is crazy. we had our ups and downs working together but in the end we were friends. we had a nice good bye- not sappy, very quick, and very happy.
the picture above is deceiving though because i honestly left china as happy as a clam, as you can see below.

"don't be said that it's over, be happy that it happened."

this picture is from my good bye party, my last night out in dalian. i really wasn't interested in a sad good bye with my friends, i just wanted to have fun together one last time, and it was definitely a good night. and yes, i am wearing a traditional chinese a dress and holding a chinese fan, because it was my party and i could do whatever i wanted!

then i had an 18 hour layover in tokyo which turned out to be the biggest tease of my entire life. if you are like me and love traveling, never go to a new country for this amount of time. i'm happy that i had the opportunity to see it (who knows if i will be back!) but it literally made my body ache when i had to leave. the people there fascinated me (their lifestyle and appearance seems sooo different from chinese people) and i was curious about their lives. at any rate, i saw the lights, i ate the melt-in-your-mouth-good sushi/sashimi, and i checked out their super cute diner style restaurants.
i also had a little bit of a culture shock in tokyo- i couldn't believe how polite people were. when i was using the subway, people actually stood aside to let the passengers get off before they got on. i thought what are you people doing, we need to get on that car!! when getting on such things in china, newly purchased eggs will crack all over the ground, someone will steal what you thought was going to be your seat, and an old woman who looks like a nice little grandma will nearly push you down. you will feel indignant for a while, and then you will get over it. what is politeness anyhow, things are more interesting when life's a free for all, and when people are polite in that kind of environment, you really appreciate it!

so, after a 4 hour flight to tokyo, 18 hours in tokyo, and a 12 hour flight to DC, i finally made it home. i almost missed my flight in tokyo out of my own stupidity (i had my phone still set on china time, which is an hour earlier than tokyo time) and i think i slept a total of like 5 hours. at any rate, the important thing is that i made it. zach and my mom, two people who i know really missed me a lot, came together to pick me up at the airport :)
i felt a little different being back in america- although i have already moved back in with my parents and continued my process of mooching off of them until the last minute possible, i definitely grew up a lot in china. i feel more ready to take flight with my life. i learned how to stand up for myself and fight battles in a system that's extremely hard to win in (and according to an email i just got from a manager about 20 minutes ago, apparently we did win a battle with the dalian education bureau), i learned what it means to be a leader and have hundreds of people counting on you, and i gained some perspective about everything i have that's fortunate in my life, and some things that are lacking. i think the most important thing i learned is that as a whole, people share more similarities than they do differences. even in a country like china where the culture is vastly different from our own, at an individual level, it's very easy to find people who share the same values as you.

on that note, ever since i got home i have been trying to think about what i will miss the most in china, and it finally came to me- the people. i really like the chinese people. now i am certainly biased because my western appearance afforded me some special treatment there, but i even liked the people i never made contact with, just from observing their habits and the way they carried themselves. many chinese people are modest in lifestyle and appearance, which i like. i'm not a fan of our lifestyle excesses because i think they detract from living (what i consider to be) a meaningful life and mask the things that are actually important. admittedly, these excesses also exist in china, and as people continue to find wealth i'm sure they will be exacerbated, but at least i experienced it before that happened.

*some chinese people playing cards together outside in the middle of winter*

a few things of note that have changed about me- i feel uncomfortable walking into a house and not removing my shoes, i prefer squat toilets in public places, i prefer using chopsticks over forks when eating small things that can be picked up quickly that way, i like eating communally with nothing but a bowl of rice to put my food on, i like wearing vests, i see the value in cleaning things, i don't like pushing to get on a bus but i will push to get off a bus, i like to drink hot water sometimes, i love the way chinese sounds, i don't mind public showers, and crossing streets with cars coming at me is no problem.

some things that have not changed- i still don't like karaoke, i don't spit or blow snot rockets on the ground, i don't want to clothe my child in puffy pants that expose their fronts and backs to the wind, i can't de-bone meat using my mouth, most chinese clothes are not attractive, and i think bargaining is tacky. on the other hand, i don't wish for these things to change, how will our world be interesting if there are no differences to make comparisons with.

anyhow, peace out dalian, you were a great choice, it's been real and i will never forget you!